I write books—a ton of books actually—and I seriously suspect that my dog Ruby could also pen a novel, if given half a chance and opposable thumbs. You may scoff, but here are some examples of Ruby’s more writer-ly mannerisms:
Reason One. Ruby loves Starbucks, writers love Starbucks.
In fact, I wrote most of my novels in one of these ubiquitous coffee shops. But the uncanny parallels don’t end there: Ruby barks outside Starbucks; I’m toting about ten pounds of ass-jiggle that’s directly attributable to toffee-nut mochas. The similarities are almost spooky.
Ruby, about to go nuts outside a Starbucks.
Reason Two. Ruby loves food, writers love food.
Snacking is a key coping skill for virtually every writer, but it’s certainly a big one for yours truly. In general, writers aren’t the kind of breed to leave that last French fry sitting all lonely at the bottom of the take-out bag. And Ruby sees things the same way. See the trend here? So do I.
Ruby + french fries = happiness.
Reason Three. Writers, especially those of us who write paranormal fantasy stuff, must be comfortable with their inner geek. Guess what? Ruby’s already there.
For example, in the picture below, Ruby shows very protective instincts for her Chewbacca chew-toy. Case closed.
Ruby and her chewy-Chewie.
Reason Five. Writing requires a readiness put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and Ruby is a mistress of many disguises.
Like this random pirate costume we made her wear. She owns this seafaring look like a boss. Come on now, how awesome is this?
The hat-parrot is especially sublime. Arrrgh!
Reason Five. And finally, writers like to nap. Ruby likes to nap.
Writing is hard work. Napping? Not so much. So why not catch some cozy shut-eye whenever you can? Ruby and I are of one mind on this particular point.
Ruby about to snooze.
So there you have it. The cold, hard facts and photographs that all lead to one inescapable conclusion: my dog is a frustrated author. At this point, you may wonder if perhaps Ruby is ghost-writing my novels. No comment, except to say this…Like Super Man and Clark Kent, you never do see both of us at the same place at the same time. Now ponder.
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