by Ruby the Dog

I shall never forget that day
That amazing, unbelievable day when I smelled sooooooooo good
The humans took me on a boat ride to Salem, Massachusetts
I got off the shaky-wierd water car and walked on my leash like a good little girl.

But then…
There was a great green field
And no one around
Mmmmmm, summer
I was so excited.

Watch me jump! Jump, jump, JUMP!
Hear my short, happy barks! Ruff! Ruff!

The man-human took pity on me and let me off my leash
I raced across the field, just as the humans expected
But then, at the end of the green, there was a small beach
And the water there was at…


Ah, the lovely piles of muckity muck all around!
How I rolled in them, sniffed them, barking my joyous song of stink!
The humans were too afraid to wade through the gunk and get me
Oh, what fools they were to miss this fun.

Then I met Fishy, my little dead scaly friend.
Shall we play together, fishy fish? May I roll on you?
Thank you, don’t mind if I do.
WEEEEEEEEEE!!! Hey, there’s your eye!

Finally, the man-human offered me a pizza bone
So I left Fishy behind and accepted servitude on my torturous leash
The humans had to wait for hours until the next boat ride back home and to the inevitable bathtub
But until then, I was the greatest-smelling doggie in the universe!

How the other dogs envied my stench
My walk was a saunter, a prance, a dance of elation
For one glorious afternoon, I was ultimate in putrid dog.

Oh yes, that was my day
The low-ride day
The day I smelled sooooooooooo good.

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